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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520045">Not Yet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/X2WritersBlock/pseuds/X2WritersBlock'>X2WritersBlock</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Getting Together, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:47:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/X2WritersBlock/pseuds/X2WritersBlock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Contrary to popular belief, Eddie and Buck aren't oblivious to their feelings for each other. They know that eventually they'll be ready to officially date. It's just not yet.</p>
<p>5 times that they decided they weren't ready to date, and 1 time they decided it was the perfect time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>266</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 3am Conversations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The team may have thought that Buck and Eddie were oblivious to their feelings for each other, but that wasn't actually the case. In fact, they regularly talked about it, but they both knew that they weren't ready to change their relationship from platonic to romantic. </p>
<p>They weren't always planning on dating eventually. When they first met, Eddie was still technically married to Shannon and Buck was waiting on Abby to come home. Their morals wouldn't have let them consider dating each other then. They wouldn't even let "What if's" take root in their dreams. </p>
<p>But then, Shannon died in the accident and Buck decided to quit haunting Abby's apartment waiting for her to never return. It wasn't immediately after that when they began allowing their feelings to grow, but the doors were cracked open.</p>
<p>In quiet moments, their love began to develop. It developed over building Christopher's skateboard, over fighting over pizza toppings, over reading stories to Chris. Even at work, every time that Eddie lowered Buck on a rope, or grabbed him an axe, or hunting for runaway botflies, their love for each other kept growing.</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>"Okay, so did you know, that if you were to try and live off of only wild rabbits, you would suffer from 'rabbit starvation' and end up starving to death? Like even if your stomach was super bloated from eating so much rabbit meat, you'd still die from starvation?" </p>
<p>Eddie pulled the phone away from his ear to try and look at it. It took a minute for his eyes to willingly adjust to the brightness.</p>
<p>"Buck. Okay, one. That makes literally no sense. Isn't the point of dying from starvation that you don't have food? How does that even work? But besides that. It's like three in the morning. Why are you researching this?" </p>
<p>Eddie ran his hand over his face.</p>
<p>"Oh. Right, sorry man. I should let you get back to sleep," Buck apologized.</p>
<p>"Nope. Nope. You stay on the phone. I'm demanding answers. You can't just spring this oxy-oxymoron? whatever it's called on me at three in the morning and not give me an answer, Buck. It will literally haunt my dreams if you leave it at that," Eddie said.</p>
<p>"You sure you don't mind?"</p>
<p>"Buck."</p>
<p>"Right. So it's purely because there's not enough fat in the meat. So if you also ate something that does have enough fat in it, then you'd be fine. But it only takes a couple weeks of just rabbit meat to kill you. So, I guess if we ever get lost in the wilderness we know the trick to not dying, right?" Buck laughed.</p>
<p>Eddie got comfy on the bed as he let Buck's voice wash over him, rambling about his research. </p>
<p>After going on a bunny trail about the latest conspiracy theory he had read about, something to do with 5G towers, Buck paused.</p>
<p>"Buck?" Eddie prompted.</p>
<p>"Do you think we'll ever- do you think that maybe we could, you know. Date? In the future, I mean," Buck asked.</p>
<p>Eddie hummed in thought. He could picture it. Cuddling on the couch while watching Disney movies with Chris. Going out to fancy restaurants and trying not to drool over Buck in a pair of slacks. Of pushing Buck down onto the bed after a rough day at work, before giving him the best backrub of his life-don't go there, Eddie. He scolded himself. Backrubs lead to babies. Though, Buck holding a baby...and he can't get pregnant. He doesn't have to worry about that anymore.</p>
<p>"Eddie?" Buck asked.</p>
<p>"You're not going to reveal to me that you are actually an alien sent to this planet to seduce random men so that you can get knocked up and create a weird hybrid baby army, right?" Eddie couldn't help but ask.</p>
<p>"Dude, what?"</p>
<p>"Just checking," Eddied defended himself. "But, yeah. Not yet, but I think we could date. I just don't think I'm ready right now."</p>
<p>Buck sighed in relief. </p>
<p>"Good. I mean. Not that I don't want to date you, because I really do- I just don't think I'm ready right now either."</p>
<p>After that first conversation, it was like the ice was broken. There was something new between them. Like they were both just a little more comfortable with each other now that they had acknowledged the attraction building between them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Insecurity and Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had turned into an unspoken promise to each other. 'Not yet', but eventually. Not now, but maybe soon. It also served as a way for them to check in with each other and acknowledge that their feelings were still there and that they were still planning on getting together once they were both in a good position to start a relationship. It was their que to each other that they hadn't moved on or given up.</p>
<p>------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>When Abby left, it took a long time for Buck to accept that she wasn't going to come back to him. Eddie knew this, when he first met Buck he heard all of the comments thrown around about his invisible girlfriend. He was there for him after he wrote his letter to Abby, telling her that he was done haunting her apartment and would be moving on with his life. </p>
<p>Eddie hadn't been too concerned about her, especially once they had promised each other that eventually they would date each other. Everyone knew that she wouldn't be coming back, so there was no point in worrying about her trying to restart her old relationship with Buck.</p>
<p>Then, they got the call about the train getting derailed.</p>
<p>It was difficult, seeing Buck's reaction to seeing Abby. And hearing that Buck had promised her to find his replacement and return him to her. Not that he wanted the guy to be dead or anything. But Buck was running to do her bidding and he was putting himself at more of a risk for making that stupid promise. If he hadn't promised Abby that he would get her fiancé down safely, he wouldn't have been so irrational about saving him.</p>
<p>And now, because Buck is being reckless. Again. And risking his life. Again. All because of her. And he just wants to wring his neck or something. And yell at him that he loves him and to quit making him worry like this. </p>
<p>But they manage it. Buck was able to cut a whole in the side of the train car and free the girl, so they were able to get the beam off of Mr. Fiancé. And Buck was fine. He felt like he could breathe again.</p>
<p>Nothing gets past Buck. He was constantly learning that. Maybe it was because Buck was so in tune with his own emotions, but he was pretty good at understanding everyone else's too. So really, it shouldn't have surprised him when Buck came knocking on his door. </p>
<p>"She apologized for me finding out that way," Buck said as he opened the door.</p>
<p>Buck had this look on his face, like he was lost or something. Like he didn't know how to react to something that he had heard. Wait...</p>
<p>"But she didn't apologize for ghosting you like that?" Eddie clarified.</p>
<p>Buck just shook his head as we went to sit on the couch. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands.</p>
<p>He went to sit down next to him and bumped their shoulders together. </p>
<p>"Hey, if she isn't going to admit to what she did wrong while she has the chance, that's on her. She's going to be the one that will wake up one day and realize just how much of a shit move that was. She had her chance, Buck."</p>
<p>Buck lifted his head up to stare at him. </p>
<p>"You're right. She had her chance. You're my 'Not Yet', Eddie. Not her. You don't need to worry about that."</p>
<p>It was like a weight was lifted off of his chest that he hadn't even known existed. </p>
<p>"You're sure? I mean, I don't want you to feel like you have to wait on me. If you would prefer-"</p>
<p>Buck covered put a hand over his mouth. </p>
<p>"Hey, hey listen to me. That's not happening. I'm as invested in this as you are, okay? Look, it's not just you that's not ready for this. I get it. But, imagine how great it will be when we are ready. We'll be as cute as those otters that hold hands to avoid drifting away from each other. We'll make Hen and Chimney want to puke at our cuteness," Buck was saying.</p>
<p>"And don't think I'm forgetting about my favorite Diaz in the middle of this either. We're all going to do stuff like make cookies together and go to the zoo and I'm going to help him prank you-" Buck stopped talking to pull his hand away in disgust.</p>
<p>"Did you seriously just like me? Like dude. I swear I've felt less slobber from a dog. Like those huge drooly ones," Buck complained with a pout.</p>
<p>"Well, you wouldn't let me get a word in," he raised an eyebrow. "And I want that too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, if this has any weirdness (besides the random formatting problems that I swear always pop up the second I post a chapter) I fully blame it on the fact that I haven't gone to bed yet (it's almost four in the morning) because I've been writing this and binge-watching 9-1-1.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. All Bets Are Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey Buck,  can you be subtle and find a way to cheer up Hen a little? She's been having a little bit of a hard time recently with one of her lab partners," Karen said.</p>
<p>Buck didn't even hesitate. "Of course! How subtle are we talking here? Like, hey I thought you could use some free sugar so here's some extra cookies from Christopher's bake sale or more like, hey Hen, you look rocking today, what's your secret?"</p>
<p>Karen hummed in thought for a second. "Maybe the cookie idea. You even slip in into her locker so she can get surprised by it," she suggested.</p>
<p>"Ooh! Good idea! Well, I've got to help Chris and Eddie finish baking these cookies, so I'll talk to you later, okay?" </p>
<p>With that, he went back to making cookies with his favorite Diaz. And Eddie. </p>
<p>Eddie leaned against the kitchen counter and smirked at him. </p>
<p>"Thinking about how Chris is your favorite again?"</p>
<p>"You know it, Diaz!" Buck said with a laugh.</p>
<p>He put his hands over his heart as if he was wounded. </p>
<p>"I see how it is, you're just using me for my kid, aren't you? I should make you have permanent babysitting duties for that!"</p>
<p>Christopher was laughing his heart out from his seat at the counter where he was spooning out piles of cookie dough onto the baking sheet.</p>
<p>Buck was not too ashamed to admit that it felt like he was giving the biggest heart-eyes at the sight of it. He loved that kid so damn much. </p>
<p>Before he could try and protest the babysitting duties or beg for them (he hadn't made up his mind on which), the alarm on his phone went off.</p>
<p>"Well, that's my warning to get my butt to work. So, I'll be stealing a cookie for Hen and heading out. Chris, don't let your dad ruin our hard work by burning all the cookies without me, you hear?" Buck said as he rushed around the kitchen to get ready to leave. </p>
<p>"I won't," Chris promised.</p>
<p>"Pinky promise?" Buck asked with his pinky extended.</p>
<p>"Promise!"</p>
<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>Although he was originally planning on pouting through the work day since Eddie abandoned him to help with Chris' bake sale, that plan was abandoned for his "Secretly Cheer Up Hen" plan.</p>
<p>First, he needed to find a time where he would be in the locker room for a minute without anyone noticing that he was gone. Bobby actually solved that problem for him by asking Hen and Chimney to do inventory on their supplies in the truck. Well, originally it was him and Chimney, but Hen had protested either of us getting to hold a clipboard for some reason. But it worked out!</p>
<p>So now, he was trying to be sneaky and unnoticeable while going into the locker room. He could almost hear the spy movie music playing. </p>
<p>He opened her locker and went to put the cookie on the shelf (not just on the ground where it might get smooshed if she doesn't notice it before putting her boots in there) when he sees The Box. </p>
<p>It didn't register at first why it was weird seeing it. Hen's always in charge of The Box anytime they have a bet going on. But then it hit him. As far as he knew, there wasn't a bet happening...which probably meant it was about him. </p>
<p>He glanced around again to make sure there wasn't any potential witness before grabbing The Box. Inside, there were envelopes with everyone's bet money, which proved that this was a bet that had already started instead of one about to happen. And Hen's little notebook containing what everyone was betting. He took quick pictures of the bets with his phone before returning everything to how it was. That way he could look at it later when he wasn't risking getting caught.</p>
<p>He shut her locker just in time too. </p>
<p>"Hey, Buck! Are you in here?" Bobby's voice called out.</p>
<p>"Yeah, Cap!"</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>"So, you know how I took a cookie to cheer up Hen this morning?" Buck prompted.</p>
<p>Eddie raised an eyebrow, adopting his "What kind of crazy bullshit are you about to be telling me" face, which he still denied existed.</p>
<p>"Right, well, it did help cheer her up. I swear she almost cried when she saw it. Med school's crazy man. But anyway, when I was putting it in her locker, you'll never guess what I found."</p>
<p>Eddie looked around the living room like it might give him suggestions. </p>
<p>"I don't know, tampons?"</p>
<p>Buck shook his head, "No, that'd be boring anyway. No, it was The Box! You know, the one for the bets," he added when Eddie didn't seem to immediately get which one he meant. </p>
<p>"Wait, you guys started a new bet without me?" Eddie asked. </p>
<p>"No! See that's the thing, I didn't know about a bet either-" Buck started to answer.</p>
<p>"But-" Eddie leaned forward. "That means it's about us, doesn't it? Or at least one of us and they don't trust us to not spill the beans."</p>
<p>"Exactly! That's what I was thinking. So I took pictures of the bet book-"</p>
<p>"You didn't!"</p>
<p>"I did! So, do you want to see what the bet is with me?" Buck asked.</p>
<p>Eddie just scooted closer to Buck as his answer. Buck tugged out his phone and pulled up the pictures.</p>
<p> <span class="u">When/How Buck and Eddie start dating</span><br/>
- Hen: $20 on next week, $15 on Eddie making the first move.<br/>
- Chimney: $30 on this week, $10 on Buck accidentally making the first move.<br/>
- Bobby: $10 on next month, $15 on Eddie making the first move.<br/>
- Karen: $20 on this Thursday, $15 on Buck making the first move.<br/>
- Michael: $13 on next month, $12 on Buck making the first move.<br/>
- Athena: $20 on this week, $10 on Eddie making the first move.<br/>
- Josh: $25 on next week, $15 on both making the first move.<br/>
- Maddie: $10 on next month, $25 on Chris making the first move.</p>
<p>"Wait, they're betting on when we'll get together?" </p>
<p>They looked up at each other.</p>
<p>"We can pick who wins the bet," Eddie pointed out.</p>
<p>"We can pick who doesn't win the bet," Buck said as he tapped on Chimney's name.</p>
<p>Eddie nodded in agreement. </p>
<p>"Do you think Athena will kill us if she loses?"</p>
<p>They spent a moment contemplating whether they needed to update their wills.</p>
<p>"Worth it," they decided.</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>Although normally the team was usually better about not trying to influence the results- okay, who was he kidding. No they weren't. But this time, it wasn't even funny. Everyone was going out of their way to try and influence the bet in their favor. Hell, Karen had been the most obvious so far - she was the one that led to them finding The Box on what would have been her day to win!</p>
<p>Chimney was next. On Friday night, the team met at this karaoke bar for a few drinks. At one point he vanished from the table for a moment, to "use the restroom". But considering Maddie hadn't gone with him, there was not reasonable explanation for how satisfied he looked. Which, gross, he so did not want to think of Chimney and his sister sneaking in a quickie at the bar.</p>
<p>"And now, singing 'Nobody But You' by Blake Shelton is Buck and Eddie! Come on up, guys!"</p>
<p>Everyone looked at Chimney, who sat there with the smuggest look on his face.</p>
<p>"You didn't," Maddie said.</p>
<p>"Oh, yes I did. Get up there, guys. Everyone's waiting on you!" Chimney said as he started to shove them away from the table. </p>
<p>To give credit where credit was due, Chimney did a good job picking the song. Eddie was from Texas, he was born ready to sing an impromptu country song. </p>
<p>
  <em>"I don't want to look back in thirty years<br/>
And wonder who you're married to"</em>
</p>
<p>At table, everybody but Athena was giving Chimney the strongest glares they could manage.</p>
<p>"Ooh, that's good. You fucker," Hen complained.</p>
<p>
  <em>"They say you set 'em free</em><br/>
But that ain't gonna work for me<br/>
I don't wanna live without you"
</p>
<p>Chimney was doing a victory dance in his seat. </p>
<p>"Look at that! I see heart eyes! They are so going to hook up after this!"</p>
<p>
  <em>"I don't wanna love nobody but you"</em>
</p>
<p>When they finished their duet, Hen rushed to separate them. </p>
<p>"Hey lover boys, Maddie wants to dance with her brother and we could use some more chips and guac for the table," she said while shoving Buck towards Maddie and Eddie in the direction of the bar.</p>
<p>"Smart thinking, Hen," Bobby commented after they left. </p>
<p>"No, not smart thinking. True love will win, and it will win tonight," Chimney declared.</p>
<p>"Exactly, we all saw those looks they gave each other, I wouldn't assume that keeping them away from each other for a few minutes will be enough to cool down those sparks that are flying," Athena said with a smirk.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for Hen, Maddie was only able to handle one dance before her ankles started to bother her too much to keep going.</p>
<p>Bobby tried to make up for it by encouraging Buck to keep dancing with a few well placed comments. Who knew that implying that Maddie might get upset about ruining his fun combined with worrying about him having two left feet due to drinking too much would make him so determined to dance?</p>
<p>Because it was Buck, it didn't take long for other people to notice him dancing and try and join him. They didn't even try and encourage them to leave him alone, just grateful that Eddie wasn't dancing with him.</p>
<p>Athena saw it as an opportunity. She went to join Eddie where he was standing by the bar.</p>
<p>"That was some impressive singing you and Buckaroo did up there," she started.</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>"You know, with how heartfelt that looked, I'm a little surprised that I haven't heard from Bobby that you two have submitted paperwork about being in a relationship," she said, clearly fishing for information.</p>
<p>Eddie shook his head. "Nah, we're not in a relationship. We're just friends."</p>
<p>Athena side-eyed him while humming. "Oh, well I suppose that's good then."</p>
<p>Eddie frowned and turned to look directly at her. </p>
<p>"What do you mean by that?" he asked, offended by the implication they wouldn't be good together.</p>
<p>Athena jerked her chin towards Buck, "Well if you were in a relationship, then I'd have to be upset with Buck letting that girl flirt with him. But since he's single, as long as he doesn't go back to stealing the firetruck for a mid-shift quickie again, I don't have to worry about it."</p>
<p>Eddie took a swig of his beer. </p>
<p>"Well, he's supposed to be Buck 2.0. So I'm sure that won't start back up."</p>
<p>Athena smirked in victory at his quieter voice, and it only grew when she saw that he was glaring at the girl dancing with Buck.</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>The team was in shocked disbelief when Monday rolled around to reveal the Buck and Eddie still weren't dating. Chimney was very vocal in his group chat with Hen and Karen about how it was completely unfair that she sabotaged him like that at the bar.</p>
<p>Hen and Josh spent the whole week texting about what they could do to try and win the bet. In the end, they had to give into the fact that it would have to be something incredibly obvious to get one of them to make a move since apparently they were both dumbasses that couldn't take a hint.</p>
<p>Thus, "Operation Buddie" was born. </p>
<p>Hen tried everything she could think of. She left notes in Eddie's locker saying "Kiss him already!!!". She left fake secret admirer gifts for Buck on his jeep or at the door to the station for him to find to try and make Eddie jealous. She tried finding every excuse imaginable for them to pair up on calls. Nothing worked.</p>
<p>Finally, she was at her last chance to try and influence them. The week wasn't over yet, but she had the next two days off and wouldn't be able to do anything. And she definitely didn't trust Chimney to do it for her.</p>
<p>Her and Josh were just about out of ideas when she was struck by inspiration. </p>
<p>"Hey Buck, can you and Eddie grab some more bandages and gloves out of the supply closet for me?" Hen asked as she was going through the supplies in the ambulance. </p>
<p>"Sure!" and like the puppy he is, Buck ran to grab Eddie without even thinking about why that would need two people.</p>
<p>She followed after them. Eddie went into the supply closet first and started grabbing boxes, but Buck just stood in the doorway. She debated what to do for a moment before deciding to just give him a quick shove into the closet before slamming the door shut behind him and locking it.</p>
<p>"Hey! What gives?" Buck protested from inside the closet. </p>
<p>Hen just walked away while rubbing her hands together, happy to have accomplished her mission.</p>
<p>Bobby chose that moment to walk down the stairs.</p>
<p>"Did you just- Hen, you can't just lock them in the closet," Bobby sighed. </p>
<p>"Come on, Cap. They've been driving me crazy with stories about how cute Buck's neighbor is," Hen protested.</p>
<p>Bobby froze on his way towards the closet. </p>
<p>"They said what now?"</p>
<p>"Buck has a new neighbor named Bella. Apparently she has beautiful brown eyes and golden hair," Hen explained.</p>
<p>Bobby looked around for a moment. </p>
<p>"No more than ten minutes, and you're in charge of letting them out if the alarm goes off."</p>
<p>"Got it, Cap!" Hen smiled.</p>
<p>She didn't need to let him know that Bella was just the new dog of the elderly couple next door.</p>
<p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>After the closet didn't work, Bobby, Michael, and Maddie knew they would be in for a battle to win their bets. </p>
<p>Maddie came up with every excuse to have Eddie and Buck come to the apartment to do work for her, confident that seeing each other working up a sweat would be enough to get the ball rolling. It wasn't really working, but it got her out of needing to put together all the furniture for the nursery at least.</p>
<p>Bobby dragged the two of them into helping with making team meals. And if the meals they were making would have been expected for a date night, nobody was willing to complain. He even gave them homework by demanding that they try and cook some of the recipes he was teaching that at home. And any of his comments about how they would need each other to put out any fires they were bound to make were ignored.</p>
<p>Michael had it a little harder, seeing as he didn't see them as often as the team. But with how often Buck ended up visiting the Grant-Nash household, he managed to find an opportunity to talk to him.</p>
<p>"You know, Buck. I love Athena and the kids, but I have never felt this free and happy with who I am. For me, coming out as gay, especially since I knew that Athena was supporting me, it lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. It's really incredible, how different things are compared to a few years ago. I never realized how much it was hurting my relationship with Athena and the kids to deny that part of myself," Michael was saying.</p>
<p>Buck was nodding along as they drove to pick up some last minute things from the store. Somehow, even though they had planned to have a barbeque at Athena and Bobby's, nobody thought to buy paper plates and drinks. </p>
<p>"That's great, man! I'm glad you're happy. That must have been tough, coming to realize that you couldn't just continue being in denial like that. I don't know if I would've been able to do that, especially if I wasn't married to someone as awesome as Athena," Buck said.</p>
<p>"Well, hopefully you won't end up in the same situation. But we'd all love and support you if you ever came out."</p>
<p>----------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>Buck and Eddie decided to order in some pizza after an epically failed attempt at making Bobby's special spaghetti and meatballs.</p>
<p>"So, you know how we were avoiding Chimney winning the bet?" Buck said as he hunted down change to give as a tip to the delivery driver. </p>
<p>"Yeah. What about it?" Eddie asked.</p>
<p>"We never did talk about who we wanted to win," Buck pointed out.</p>
<p>There was a knock at the door, so Eddie grabbed the cash from Buck and went to grab their pizza.</p>
<p>"I mean, if we don't make it official this month, then they're going to have to start up a new bet," Eddie said.</p>
<p>Buck went to grab plates from the kitchen while yelling from Chris to come so they could eat dinner. </p>
<p>"True." </p>
<p>They didn't say anything for a moment, just letting the silence fill the room.</p>
<p>"I don't think I'm ready," Eddie admitted. "I, I woke up this morning. And all I could think about was how much I missed Shannon. And how even though I miss her I'm so angry that she left."</p>
<p>Buck rushed over to him. He put a hand on his shoulder and tilted Eddie's face up so they were looking each other in the eye.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay. We don't have to rush into this just to go along with their bet. I mean, hell. We could always find out the new dates later if we want to when we actually are both ready to make it official. It's fine. And if you're not ready to move on from Shannon, that's perfectly fine. I'm not going anywhere. You know, you might want to ask Bobby for advice on how he was able to move on after his family died," Buck said.</p>
<p>Christopher walked in and rushed towards the pizza boxes.</p>
<p>"You're right," Eddie let his forehead rest against Buck's. "I'll ask him. Eventually. That's not the easiest conversation to jump into. But you didn't say, is it bad that I'm angry about her leaving? I mean, not just her dying, but-" he glanced at Christopher before lowering his voice even further. "I'm also angry about her asking for a divorce and trying to leave us again."</p>
<p>Buck pulled him into a hug. "Eddie, it's okay. There is nothing wrong with feeling like that. She hurt you by leaving, and it wasn't okay that she decided to leave again the second she realized she didn't end up pregnant. You weren't able to heal from that blow before she died. Those two pains are combining together, and that's okay. You hear me? You can't rush healing from that."</p>
<p>Eddie pulled back to look at him. </p>
<p>"What if I'm never ready to move on?" Eddie whispered.</p>
<p>Buck rubbed his shoulder to comfort him. "I'll still be here for you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Arranging Dates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, you are 'not dating' your friend, Eddie?" Dr. Copeland clarified. </p>
<p>"Exactly!" Buck beamed. </p>
<p>She took a moment to think about it. </p>
<p>"So what does that mean for you two? Walk me through it," she suggested.</p>
<p>Buck's face lit up as he began talking about Eddie. "Well, you see, we both are into each other. Have been for awhile really. But I was pretty hurt when Abby ghosted me, and Eddie's healing from Shannon-his wife- dying and asking for a divorce. So although we've talked about how we want to become an official couple in the future, we've decided that we need to do our own healing before that can happen. Neither of us wants to risk something that could be so awesome because we got together too early, you know?"</p>
<p>Dr. Copeland was nodding her head. </p>
<p>"That's an emotionally smart decision. Is it hard on you, having acknowledged your feelings but not entering this relationship yet?" she tested.</p>
<p>Buck started to shake his head 'no', before he stopped to think about it.</p>
<p>"Well, sometimes it is. There's times where I just want to shout to everyone that I'm in love with this amazing man, you know what I mean? But I can't. Like, I know we've talked about it, but sometimes I worry that he's going to want to move on before our relationship has a chance to start. What if he's ready before I am?" Buck paused.</p>
<p>"But that's why I started those conversations. Like anytime things have been rough between us, like during the lawsuit, I was a stressed out mess. And that's an understatement," he laughed. </p>
<p>"But when I would get too far into my head, I was able to ask him 'Not Yet?' and it was our signal. Like, normally, we meant it as more of a way to say that we still weren't in the right headspace for a relationship, but that we would be. Back then, it also became a way for us to see if we were able to see a light at the end of the tunnel still. Every time one of us asked, we were offering each other a chance to back out, no questions asked. And neither of us went with it." </p>
<p>Dr. Copeland tapped her pen against her chin. "Why didn't you? Did you never wake up one morning and think that the wait was lasting too long? Or that you would be better off starting over somewhere else, I mean, you've been all over the country, constantly starting over. Why did you decide to stay this time?"</p>
<p>Buck sat there for a moment, looking away from his laptop. </p>
<p>"I decided to risk it. The family that I made at the 118 was worth fighting for and I would do anything to keep being able to help people. But Eddie, I can't help but feel like he's the one for me. Is that too cheesy? Yeah that's too cheesy. But he's my best friend. And I love him too much to give up on this without a fight."</p>
<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>"Buck, buddie," Chimney called out as he grabbed his morning coffee. </p>
<p>"Yeah, Chim?"</p>
<p>"So me and Maddie were talking-"</p>
<p>Hen snorted, "You mean you do things besides make babies?"</p>
<p>"Not funny, Hen! Anyway, we decided that you've gone too long without moving on from Ali and Abby."</p>
<p>Buck exchanged a quick look with Hen, who decided to be absolutely no help by reopening her medical textbook.</p>
<p>"Right. So, ignoring the fact that whether or not I date really isn't your business...where are you going with this?" Buck asked with a sigh.</p>
<p>Chimney clapped his hands after setting down his coffee mug. </p>
<p>"Well I'm glad you asked! If you happen to look at your phone, there should be a new folder on the third page labeled 'Buckaroo not Buckalone'. Click on it," Chimney directed with a smirk, which only grew as Buck face turned horrified as soon as he opened his phone. </p>
<p>"Really, Chimney? When did you guys even install all of these? How have I not noticed any notifications?" Buck spat out questions as he looked between Chimney and his phone. </p>
<p>"We turned notifications off for the apps, and come on Buck. Nobody looks beyond the second page of apps. It was pretty easy."</p>
<p>Eddie chose that moment to walk in after finishing his work out. </p>
<p>"Why does Buck look like someone ran over his cat?"</p>
<p>Hen set her book down. "Chimney and Maddie installed dating apps on his phone for him. Apparently he's gone too long without getting laid. Who knew Chimney was in such a hurry to see Buck 1.0 again."</p>
<p>Bobby turned around from where he was prepping food for lunch. "I better not have just heard what I thought I did. Buck 1.0 does not need to be summoned back. You hear me Buck? If you do listen to Chimney and your sister about getting back into the dating pool, no stealing the trucks for sex again!" Bobby waved his measuring spoon in a surprisingly threatening way.</p>
<p>Buck waved his hands in protest. "Hey, I'm not going back to Buck 1.0. In fact, I'm just going to re-delete these apps."</p>
<p>Chimney groaned. "Well, onto Plan B. Sorry Buck, but you aren't escaping your sister's plans."</p>
<p>Buck paused from selecting apps to uninstall. </p>
<p>"What did you two do?"</p>
<p>Chimney took a quick swig of his coffee. "You actually have a date for tomorrow night. Girl's name is Veronica, Maddie'll text you the details!" He called over his shoulder as he ran for the pole.</p>
<p>Buck just looked over at Eddie in a plea for help. Eddie, the traitor, just shrugged because he was absolutely no help. Buck jerked his head towards the locker room, and they took the chance to escape.</p>
<p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>"I think you should do it," Eddie said after listen to Buck rant while he paced around the room.</p>
<p>Buck turned around, looking hurt.</p>
<p>"Look, this isn't me saying that I'm giving up on us, so don't take it that way, okay?" Eddie started off saying. "I've just been looking up advice for, uh, moving on-" the <em> from Shannon </em> hung in the air for a moment before he continued. "And one thing that I kept seeing was that sometimes it's a good idea to go on a date or two, like without any expectation that their going to go anywhere. Like apparently a lot of people realize whether or not they actually have moved on once they try dipping their toes back into the water."</p>
<p>Buck sat down, thinking about it. </p>
<p>"So it'd be like an experiment then? Seeing if you have really moved on or not?" He checked.</p>
<p>Eddie nodded. "I was debating whether or not I should try that, I mean. I don't know how much I like the thought of going on a date when I don't plan on it going anywhere, but I don't want to play hot-potato with our relationship, you know what I mean?" Eddie asked.</p>
<p>Buck nodded. "So I guess we both go on a few dates, then? See how things go?"</p>
<p>Eddie nodded, starting to look a little pale at the thought of actually going through with his idea.</p>
<p>"Yeah. You with this Veronica girl, and I guess I'll figure out soon enough who I'll ask out."</p>
<p>They gave each other a quick punch to the shoulder before Buck went to grab a clipboard. "Help me do the checks?" He asked over his shoulder. </p>
<p>"Sure thing," Eddie said, with only a quick glance at Buck's ass as he walked ahead of him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry about the wait! Midterms had me swamped! And I'm working on designing my BFA show, so I might not be able to spit out the next chapter super soon either. (And not just because I'm not sure how to tackle it - I keep wanting to skip to the end XD).</p>
<p>Beyond that, it was so annoying trying to figure out a way to sort of stay with canon while writing this. In my mind, I picture this as ending right before "Jinx" begins, so hopefully it makes sense!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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